


Irreplaceable

by quinn_nemo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cousin Incest, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Sakukomo, komori loves him too, sakusa is soft for komori only, sakusa love komori, they’re in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28754025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinn_nemo/pseuds/quinn_nemo
Summary: he means more to sakusa than he knew
Relationships: Komori Motoya/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Irreplaceable

**Author's Note:**

> I’m telling you that I’m not a writer and the only reason I’m doing this is to feed fellow survivor of the sakukomo cousin announcement, or in other words, sakukomo shippers 
> 
> So I’m sorry if this is bad :)

It was just another one night in their lives. Komori in Sakusa’s arms as they slowly drift off to sleep. 

He didn’t know if Sakusa was asleep or if he wasn’t but it was passed midnight when the thoughts came back. This has been going on for a while now. The thought of Sakusa leaving him for someone new, someone better. 

And why shouldn’t he? 

There are so many other people in this world who can be quieter than him, maybe they’ll let Sakusa be in peace for once in a while. Someone who can open up to him, and actually try to fix their problems. Sakusa has opened up to him in more ways than one, he felt bad because it seems like he doesn’t trust Sakusa but he do. 

He wanted to tell Sakusa all his worries and woes but he was afraid that Sakusa would confirm all of them. There is no way that’s going to happen, actually. But he would rather not take his chances. He doesn’t need Sakusa to comfort him or tell him he loves him, he doesn’t need it. He wants it. But for now he’s fine with their cuddling sessions, kisses and knowing Sakusa is there with him (wether is it just for now or forever, that’s for later).

So he should be happy. And he is happy. 

Until one day one of his biggest fear came true. 

It was on their third year and the two were invited to the All-Japan Youth Training Camp yet again. Everything was going fine. As Sakusa and him have always been when in events like this (or in any occasion really), they went everywhere together unless they really needed to leave the other’s side.

Such as when they were chosen to be in different groups or when someone was afraid of Sakusa but wants to talk to Komori. But in that one, Komori would still try his best to include Sakusa in the conversation so that doesn’t count. 

There were a couple of familiar faces and a couple of new ones. Kageyama was there again, Hoshiumi too. And Miya Atsumu. Oh Miya Atsumu. Komori has no idea why this kid won’t leave Sakusa alone. But of course he can’t display how much he dislikes the presence of the blond setter. 

It’s not that Atsumu did anything in particular to annoy him. He’s actually really nice to Komori. But why does he clings onto Sakusa as if they’ve known each other for long. Can’t he see the discomfort and disgust in Sakusa’s face when they accidentally-or not- made skin-ship in any way. 

But even so, Sakusa never showed any hatred towards him. At least not more than he would hate normal people. Atsumu is actually the only person Komori has seen Sakusa has a long and normal conversation with except for himself. Yes a normal conversation, he’s even seen him chuckle while talking to Atsumu before. And all he does with Komori is cuddle, no words, kissing, no words, he forgot the last time they had an actual talk where it’s a two way conversation. 

“Motoya-kun, Omi-kun!” A familiar voice called for them and they looked to the source of the voice. Miya Atsumu standing next to Kageyama, it seems like they were having a conversation before Atsumu started yelling for the Itachiyama players. 

Komori flashed a smile, “Atsumu-san! Tobio!” Most of them are in first name basis because of a groupchat Hoshiumi made for the All-Japan Youth Training Camp participants from the previous year. 

Sakusa just gave a wave that looked like it was directed only to Kageyama, “How’re the two of you?” Komori started and the two setters told them a lot of stories about basically random things. And by the time they were called for an announcement, Komori and Sakusa have known more than enough about the two storytellers earlier. 

Like how Kageyama have had a wet dream about his former senpai who last year graduated from Aoba Johsai, or how Atsumu have a collection of Hello Kitty boxers hidden in his brother’s side of the wardrobe and how Hoshiumi is dating a middle blocker in his school. Though that last one was a good story to hear. It was cute and both Komori and Sakusa had to admit that. 

The camp was alright. Everything was doing fine. So Komori thought that he probably shouldn’t worry the way he is right now. But for some reason he just has this feeling that something is going to happen really soon. 

And at the last day of camp he finally knows why. 

He stood, hidden, and watched Miya Atsumu confessed to Sakusa. He didn’t know what Sakusa was going to respond with and the fact that there was a long silence that still hasn’t been broken, isn’t helping at all.

Why would he say no? He doesn’t have any reason to.

He thought as he walked away, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. So no, he did not wait and listen to what Sakusa’s answer was and left. 

A couple of days after that were awkward. Komori was just waiting for Sakusa to break up with him and Sakusa was trying to figure out what is going on with his boyfriend. Komori is not a quiet person. He’s always talking and laughing and when he isn’t, he’ll find himself a reason to smile like an idiot. Most times, it’s Sakusa. 

But not lately. And it made him feel disappointed, or is it angry? Or maybe sad? That Komori does not trust him enough to tell him about what’s wrong because something clearly is. 

And Komori isn’t feeling any better than him. At night he asks himself if he should initiate the break up because at least it’ll not hurt as much. Or should he just tell Sakusa everything and they can make up. Or maybe he can ask Sakusa about it and let him explain. Yeah. That sounds good. Until he thought about the possibilities of what the “explanation” might be. 

After a couple of days waiting and Sakusa still hasn’t brought up the topic yet, Komori decided to avoid him. Yes, a smart way of escaping a dreaded conversation. And this only irritates Sakusa even more. But he never initiate anything first. It has always been Komori. When they fight who’ll try to make up first, when they kiss who’ll pull the other in, when they cuddle or when asking the other on some date. It has always been Komori. 

When Sakusa acts weird then it’s Komori who’ll ask him about what’s wrong, it’s Komori who’ll listen to anything he needed and wanted to say even though it’s usually not much, it’s Komori who’ll try his best to understand whatever his problems are even with the littlest amount of words he uses. So he has no idea how to do this, not to say that now Komori is literally avoiding him. 

In practice, when they play volleyball, it’s all normal. But when they stepped off court, unlike the usual, none of them said a word to each other. Even the others find this weird. Komori not jumping as the pair walked to classes, Sakusa not having sunshine boy clinging to his arms, no sight of Komori smiling as they banter and Sakusa trying not to laugh or smile from under his mask. 

Not only at school. Komori hasn’t stayed at Sakusa’s place since they came back from camp and it’s bugging him since they can’t cuddle at night. He missed the warmth he gets when Komori is in his arms, the little cute snores, he just misses Komori so much. So he’s not planning to delay confronting Komori any longer. 

After practice when Komori was ready to slip out of the gym, hoping that Sakusa won’t realize that he’s gone home. But when he closed the door behind him, he was immediately towered by his boyfriend who had a sharp look in his eyes. 

“We need to talk.” 

Komori gulped, “Y-yeah, we do.” 

Sakusa sighed and his eyes softened when he heard Komori stuttering. Why is he so weak for this boy? 

“You want to come over? It’ll be easier to talk over or after dinner at home right?” He asked and Komori nodded. So they both walked back to Sakusa’s place. The walk was as unusual as their last few days have been.

He would never have thought he would say this but Sakusa was so ready to break this weird silence. He doesn’t want it to go on any longer or for it to happen again in the future one day. He’s going to change, he really is. He’ll be better, if it means Komori would come back. Not that he actually left. 

Face to face. They’re now eating dinner with each other.

Is this really when it ends?

Komori thought as he stared at his boyfriend. When Sakusa caught him, he looked back at his food. The younger put his empty bowl in the sink then went back to sit and watch as Komori finish his bowl of udon. His eyes didn’t leave him at all as he brought the empty bowl to where Sakusa brought his, “Let’s go to my room.” Sakusa told him as he walked ahead first. 

They both sat on the bed, facing each other. 

“Uh,” Komori wanted to start but couldn’t, “so do you have anything in particular to say that you invited me here?” 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He blurted out way too fast. But he didn’t regret a thing. The faster he gets to the bottom of this the better.

“I haven’t.” 

“Yes you have.” 

“I have not.” 

“Stop it Komori I know you have.” Now THAT, he regret. Right after he said it he knew he shouldn’t have. They both have moved to first name basis so long ago and the use of his last name made Komori feel weird. The sad-puppy-like expression Komori had no intention of making is breaking Sakusa’s heart. But he continued, “So why?” 

“Why what?” 

“You were avoiding me.” 

Komori took a deep breath before lying, “I got sick. I know you don’t like getting sick so I stayed away. That’s all, Sakusa.” He didn’t know if he did that intentionally or not. He looked at Sakusa’s unimpressed face. Komori is not a bad liar but it’s not like his lies are convincing enough to be believed by anyone who hears. 

“Stop lying.” 

“How do you know that I’m lying?” 

“I just do.” 

“It doesn’t work like that.” 

“Whatever. Just tell me already. Why the fuck were you all quiet and acting like you don’t know me. You didn’t came over at all and didn’t talk to me at school. Did you find some other boyfriend or something?!” 

Komori was mad. Sakusa thought that he was cheating? 

“I did no such thing! And for everything you just said, it’s not like you asked me to do any of those things so how can I know! It’s always like you don’t care, am I really the only one who’s in this relationship?” He kept on talking. Not thinking about what’s coming out of his mouth at all. Komori knows for sure that he probably knows what Sakusa wants before he even thought of it. But that was not the point. Sometimes he wants Sakusa to be able to see right through his head and understands what he needs and want without him needing to say anything.

Yes he knows that Sakusa is trying his best but it almost seems like he stopped trying. Like he got so comfortable with Komori doing everything for the relationship. And if Sakusa knows that Komori think this way then he probably won’t get angry. Because it was true, he did get so used to Komori he didn’t realize there were two people who needs love in that relationship, “Do you even like me? I know that I’m not special and that you can find so many more people in this world who is better than me. Okay?” He was getting off topic and instead of responding to what Sakusa said, he finally told Sakusa about how he feels, “And I’m sure Miya would be a so much better boyfriend than I am now wouldn’t he?” And there it is. It slipped out so naturally. 

Komori stopped talking and he sank back onto the bed, mouth opened for a while before he just pulled his knees to his chest to hide from the ace. Sakusa took Komori into his arms, “I- I didn’t know you were there.” Komori was burying his head in the crook of Sakusa’s neck, “Wait, you thought that I said yes?” 

Komori stayed quiet and Sakusa sighed, “I told him that I don’t feel the same and that I’m already in a relationship, Ko- Motoya.” He hugged the older even tighter, “One that I am certainly happy in, that is.” He paused before continuing, “I’m sorry.”

And Komori looked up to see his face, “Why are you sorry?” He asked really quietly. 

“Because I made you feel that way. I made you feel as if I don’t care about you, like you’re the only one in love, like I can just replace you but I love you so much and- shit.” He was a deep shade of red. This is the first time Sakusa has ever said all this to someone and it’s kind of embarrassing, but he wanted to do it anyway. 

So once again he continued, “I care about you and I’m really thankful for you. You never push me into anything I don’t want and you have been so patient with me. I really want to show you affection and everything like that but I’m not used to it so it feels different. But I’ll try my best.” 

“You don’t have to, you know. Just forget about what I said. I know that you feel the same even without you having to say or do anything,” He tried his best to flashed a smile, “And I’m sorry for making you feel like you have to change-“

“Why?” 

“What?” 

“Earlier you told me that I can find someone so much better than you but that’s not true. If anyone can find and deserve someone better, it’s you.”

“No, Kiyo-“

“But it’s true, there are so many things I should’ve done to at least show that I am happy that I have you in my life.”

Komori laughed, “So we both think that we could’ve done better. Huh?” He looked Sakusa in the eye, “I guess that just means we’re perfect for each other.”

“How does that-“

“Yeah it was supposed to sound like something romantic, and you have to admit that it did, but it just doesn’t make sense.” 

Sakusa joined him and laughed too, “Okay sure whatever. So you’re staying here tonight right?”

“I don’t know Kiyoomi, maybe I should just leave for my own empty house even though I just went through two weeks alone and touch-starved.” Sakusa rolled his eyes at the sarcasm in Komori’s voice. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m dumb.” 

“Did THE Sakusa Kiyoomi just said he’s dumb?”

“It was a joke.”

“As a joke??”

And they spent the rest of the night cuddling themselves to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any grammar mistakes or if the story doesn’t make sense somehow. I didn’t really feel like uploading it but I don’t really know what to do about it anymore
> 
> Any feedback (or none is fine too) is appreciated bcs even tho I’m bad, I guess I kinda enjoy writing haha


End file.
